Stampede Day Four
One more day in the books, and this one was a little harder to get through.
By no means was this a long day. As a matter of fact, it was probably one of the shortest I've had besides day zero. It was just slightly more emotional on my part, which I will touch on why after a relatively quick recap of the day.
Which started out kind of miserable weather wise. There were incredibly menacing clouds off in the distance, and the sunshine was on and off through out the duration of the short set Showband had for the afternoon. Afterwards wondered around park with a few friends who had been in the band previously, and enjoyed the strange spitting rain, and sun-showers that had been occurring, while also reminiscing about the time we had in the band. Shortly afterwards going to the Bell Adrenaline Ranch, which was a motocross/snowmobile freestyle event which was an incredible thing to watch. Afterwards we went to go watch the small ensembles who were doing a circuit around the grounds perform, I went off with the brass choir, while the friends I was with I think went to go watch sax choir, but I couldn't exactly be sure. After a certain point while watching them, and following them for their last few performance stops, I start feeling a little down, and this is where I begin to miss what I use to do; which was performing.
Something that I definitely don't really have in my life anymore is a sense of belonging. Which I will admit has always been a problem for me even while I was in the band, but is just slightly amplified when I don't have much to do. Being around the band as much as I am currently probably isn't helping that situation, but it wasn't much of a problem up until now.
Where this really hit me was when I went to their brass warm up. Though the exercises are different, everything else about being in that area felt like home. But at the same time, I felt like I didn't quite belong anymore, which is where the fact that I am no longer really a part of this is, and that I am only there to really document what is going on was a little harder to swallow than I thought it would be. What I think was the worst part of that was that the day I ended up going was the day where the friends I entered that band with in the 2012/2013 season were being celebrated, which there were only 3 of them left out of quite a few in the brass line. I am so incredibly proud of that group of people specifically, because I grew with them while in the band and boy did we go through some stuff. The thought of 'that could have been me there' was something that crossed my mind quite a few times. In some ways this has helped me more forward a bit more, and gives me a little closure about leaving that chapter in the past. Hopefully giving me the opportunity to focus on what could possibly be ahead. I'm proud of how far the band has come, and even more proud of all the current 4th years in the band.
After this point I headed towards to steps to possibly help set up, but with the light dribble of rain that was happening, it was likely to get worse very quickly and that the rest of the day would likely be canceled--which it was. I ended up not seeing whether they canceled the evening steps show that evening. It's likely they didn't, but I also didn't really feel like standing in the rain to watch them, as much as I do really like their production, and that I pseudo-know some of them (or at least I've photographed them before in their rehearsals).
I hope for no rain tomorrow* as it's a show day!
6 more days!
Till next time.
*I did write this at the end of Day Four, so 'tomorrow' is really today